I met my new doctor today. Well, she’s not really a doctor, she’s a nurse with super powers, which is cool with me. I’m fine with her power, I just worried if I’d like her; if we’d click; if she’d get me, or if she’d think I was crazy.
My old-man doctor of ten years moved away last month. I liked him to pieces; he was thoughtful, kind, medically-conservative and nothing rattled him -not even when I launched into one of my medical-neurosis-animated-over-explanations, or Google diagnosis’ Ethel and I concocted. He just absorbed it. All. And moved on unaffected.
Mainly I didn’t want to meet the Super Power Nurse because I don’t like changes to my medical line-up.
So today I was unnerved when I knew my swimmer’s ear had turned into Ebola or Bubonic Plague. Even though Ethel plays a pretty good internet doctor and she said it was a sinus infection, I still knew even if Ethel was right and I wasn’t gonna start bleeding from my eyes, it was time to go to the SPN after a week of trying to treat myself at home with vinegar, alcohol, denial and some leftover antibiotic drops from an old ear infection.
This morning I called my old doctor’s office, and I drug myself kicking and screaming like Lily Tomlin drug the other half of her Steve Martin body in All of Me, to my one o’clock appointment.
And imagine my surprise when the SPN walked into the room, and she knew me! She was the very same nurse (sans super powers), who worked for the doctor that delivered all three of my babies, who are no longer babies, but whatever, it sounds weird to say he delivered three grown men.
I couldn’t wait to tell Hubs I was nervous about meeting SPN for nothing. I knew her. And Hubs said it was creepy that she recognized me. Of course. Hubs thinks everything that has anything to do with childbirth is either creepy, freakish, gross, or disgusting. So I explained to him that creepy would be if SPN was doing a vaginal exam, looked up and said, “I think I know you.”
THAT would be creepy. THIS was not creepy.
When your former OB/GYN’s nurse recognizes you after nearly twenty years WITH your clothes on. Not. Weird. Right?
No. Not weird.
And I don’t have Ebola, or Bubonic Plague. Super Power Nurse agreed with Ethel’s diagnosis. I have a sinus infection -which is disgusting, Hubs.